Empty

My minds' twisting and turning

Spinning in circles of despair

Agonizing every second moving

Toward the storms I cannot bear

My hands clenched and full

With useless dreams, unwanted goals

The past passions now merely dull

Compared to raw fear, this empty hole

Sorry

I'm sorry my words give you nothing more than pain
Of knowing I'm not real, and this is just a game
It's easy for me, you know, to twist around a letter
And if I stuck to rules would it make it any better?

I'm sorry my words give you nothing more than sorrow
But time does not return all the hearts I've cruelly borrowed
And played around my world full of selfish wish and need
To leave innocence lying down upon the ground to bleed

I’m sorry my words give you nothing more than hate
And I cannot imagine this is simply a twist of fate
For years of friendship cracked and crumbled just because of me
You washed away my plastered face and now you clearly see

I know behind this broken smile is nothing more than fake
And someday all that’s clumped inside will start to bend and break
But truly, if you shatter me until you reach my core
Then perhaps you will find out, I am nothing more

~Dedicated to a Friend I lost because of my actions ♥

Love the World

Sometimes the world may call us to hate
As if she darkens each and every person's fate
Drowning the light until it's no more
Pulling away the rope to safety's shore

But while we sit here, unending struggle
Sometimes we wish for someone to huggle :)
Not even gods, or God, or supernatural things
Just the warmth and love a human can bring

But I know that I won't receive such affection
Partly because I don't want to be confined by such
Hypocritical thoughts, feelings, hollow love
And that does make me want to... hate the world

But rather, even with this ugly love we hold
It can defend the world, if we may be so bold
To lift our lamps up to the sky
Blessing the world for days gone by

I don't think this world will try
To embrace our souls or wave goodbye
But her trials and pains upon us she gives
Help us understand just why we live

For others, for family, for friend
Maintaining a truthful heart till the end
Maybe her sticks and stones she throws
Give us more than light, aglow

It seems so weird, how she might
Actually care for us in the night
Moon to shine, sun to rise
As the coldness slowly dies

Broken hearts and broken dreams
She only came to break and crush it seems
But beneath her seemingly icy gaze
Is a true desire for us to raise

Our souls toward healing her
Because she cries out to us
To save her
<3

That's why we have to
Love the world
Because it...

Loves us too

Me, Myself, and I

Three entities, but we are all one
Split personalities, they soon come undone
Sparks of dissent fly and stray
Fluttering our hopes so far away

Again we try to hold hands
But eyes are cold, distanced lands
And instead of finding sympathy
We find those ways to break our knees

Until we've fallen way too low
For even hope to drop the rope
Light that turns darkness to shadow
There's nothing more to truly follow

Myself finds me broken
I find courage stolen
Now just what do I wait for?
What there's nothing more?

Hurt

It hurts to be one who causes problems
For others' lives, their perfect little bubbles
Ripped open by my imperfections
Building up this road of troubles

It hurts to find their eyes open wide
Lips tight and face angry
Tearing into what I thought was pride
Or just emptiness maybe

It hurts to live as if I'm dead
Nothing to give and nothing to prove
Limp body on contorted head
Complacency won't let me move

It hurts to continue on like this
As if we don't know the beautiful song
A melody of hope, even love in this midst
That we have been singing all along.

Alone

It's not like I am without friends who care
In fact I have companions everywhere
But sometimes it seems like the world turns away
And instead of the shore I'm led astray

Finding nothing but bitterness
The dim light warms even less
I tremble before the growing night
A child lost in touch and sight

I want someone to hold me close
Close my eyes until the darkness goes
And again feel like I'm wholly loved
By someone other than God above?

Selfish of me

War

We are fighting an impossible Fight

Not the physical reality of life

But powers greater and stronger than we will ever be

For perfection will never take hold of me

So instead of sword and shield

I bring with me nothing to wield

Merely a broken heart

Falling, tearing apart

But cruelty does not sympathize

With the tears of glossy eyes

Lust does not give forget any chance

To force us into her mocking dance

So my knees turn to the ground

Noises so loud all around

That I lose my sense, my sole being

Unable to find my soul's meaning

Rise

Lift up our wills

Toward something greater

Than the great

Stronger than the stronger

He is the one who will

Overcome

Who?

Jesus

Give Me

Give me something I can hold
Within these two hands of mine
A piece of love so bold
It never shatters with time

Give me a reason to breathe
When I have fallen again
Storms I wish would leave
When I have never become a man

Give me life not twisted, nor fake
Masks of deceit that break away
Please God what will it take
For us to turn away?

Not Just a Memory

Others may not remember, or see only broken parts
Of what makes me, my hands, my eyes, my heart
And surrounded in the void of disjointed thought
Could come an angel or demon we have wrought

But who am I then, if nothing more than a memory
For the people in this world to ponder and maybe see?
To me alone, I am, I know, reality
And the first step would be for me to believe

Lift Me Up Once More

Maybe I'm weak, and torn and lost

My speech gasped out with biting frost

Maybe I'm lonely, sore afraid

Broken heart never to be remade

But from a moment of revelation

Comes the movement of reciprocation

For even amid the surrounding night

We can still stand up and fight

I know that I am

All of these

And more

For I am broken to the core

But also

I know what I am living for